A job is something I've always wanted but couldn't have for a very long time, it's not because I didn't have the qualifications or the skills, it's not because I was lazy or couldn't be bothered; It was because of my heath, my mental health.
For the past few years I've suffered from mental illness, I was diagnosed 3 years ago but have been battling with the same feelings since I was an early teenager and I'm nearly 21 now. Feeling this way made my education and my social life extremely difficult and it still has a huge impact on how I live now.
For the past year or so I have been living on benefits as I have been deemed not fit to work by a medical professional and I decided to take the time to focus on getting better. I attended my psychiatrist appointments and tried several different medications but they all came with too many side effects or didn't lift my spirits.
Everybody tells me "only you can make yourself better, you need to be positive" or "it's all in your head" but it's not as simple as that, is it? I have surrounded myself with the things I enjoy and the people I love; I've practiced self care and socialising, going out and keeping myself busy but at the end of the day the thoughts are back and I'm feeling hopeless again.
